I am still here
When my voice left me, the few friends that had stuck by me all those years that I have been sick, started to fade away. I am guessing that they think that it is hard for me to talk on the phone or in person. No girlfriends are calling me up and casually talking about their lives. I was always the one they turned to when they needed a shoulder to lean against. I am still here. I am a great listener. I sometime wonder if I was in their shoes – would I be put off by me? Would I know what to do?
Whenever I see them I know they still love me, only in a different way. I feel like they pity me as a disabled person, and don’t connect with me as one of their peers. I reach out to them and tell them to call me or text me or message me, and I will listen, but they don’t. Perhaps they feel like they don’t want to burden me with their concerns. This disease is so isolating. That is why I am happy to connect with other people who share the similar experiences.
I am developing slowly new friends that are fellow journeyers of Lyme Disease. I treasure the visit with my friend Cindi who came over and brought me lunch. I treasure the visit from my friend Melinda who brought her new love to meet me. I treasure the visit I had with my friend Kristine. I always treasure when I see my friend Karen. I treasure Cousin Mike who always supports me. They are the friends that try to stay in touch with me.